Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

5:14 AM

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

Posted: 05 Jul 2010 04:09 PM PDT

It is July and I am cold.

Actually, I am freezing my butt off. Oh yes I'm here in Oregon, not Antarctica, where it should at least be 80 degrees by now. The windows are open and the thermostat in my house reads 64.

I reluctantly shut off the furnace for the season a couple weeks ago. If I had firewood, I'd build a fire in the fireplace because I'm so dang cold. My nose is icy and my nostrils feel frosted when I inhale. Doesn't that just sound wrong to want to build a fire or turn on the heat in July? I'm just tired of being so cold all the time.

It's just not right.

Our weather here in Oregon is usually so wonderful that I keep some weather widgets on my computer wallpaper just so I can be accurate when bragging about our weather. Hmph. It's depressing to realize that compared to Salem, Oregon: it's a little warmer on the coast, toasty warm in my Wisconsin hometown, and delightfully HOT in Rancho Mirage, CA (near Palm Springs.)
Gee, I'd like to be there right now...

Yesterday Rachel asked if we could go up the mountain to our favorite bend in the river at North Fork.

"Uh, that's a mountain stream fed by snow melt. I'm gonna have to say no."

"But mommmmmm..."

"How many days have we had over 80 degrees this year?"

"Ummm, 2? Maybe 3?"

Yah, No. Maybe by the end of August it will have warmed up enough.

Is it warm where you are? Has June delivered its June-like weather to you and your garden? Does July look like it's going to be everything you hoped it would be - as far as weather goes?

Comment here with your weather bragging and gloating. At least I can warm myself up by imagining your weather!

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

5:09 AM

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

"Welcome Home!"

Posted: 02 Jul 2010 03:47 PM PDT

Phở = Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup

aka my family's favorite comfort food.

No, we're not Vietnamese, or even Asian for that matter, but we certainly know a good thing when we see it. Or in this case, when we smell and taste it.

We're regulars at a local Salem Phở restaurant, where we basically fill up on soup and salad. Frank orders Phở (the soup), which always comes with bean sprouts, sliced limes, sliced jalapenos, and lots of fresh basil on the side.Rachel and I usually order Bún. Bún is a salad - with noodles under the lettuce. Sometimes the lettuce is blended with chopped fresh herbs such as cilantro, basil, or mint. The Bún is usually topped with grilled meat, egg rolls, pickled carrot/daikon radish, bean sprouts, and served with Nước mắm (a sweet fish sauce, used as salad dressing) on the side.

Yesterday we had an appointment up in Portland, and afterwards we zig-zagged across downtown looking for a place to have lunch. We argued over burgers, Greek gyros, Indian food, shopping mall food courts and Voodoo Doughnuts, then backtracked to our starting point to eat at a place called "Toast and Phở."

Weird name, but it turns out Phở is a traditional Vietnamese breakfast (can you imagine a big steaming bowl of beef soup for breakfast every morning? I love it, but no. I couldn't do that for breakfast.) In the mornings they serve traditional American breakfast, Bún and some rice dishes for lunch, and Phở all day long.

We walk in and inhale. Smells like Phở: rich beef broth, star anise, basil, grilled meat... Yum.

The lady (one of the owners?) walks up to us and asks, "Family of three?"
"Yes."
"Welcome home! Right this way..."

Welcome home? I've never heard of that greeting at a restaurant before.

Welcome home.

A departing customer smiled at us and chuckled. He must have been surprised when he was welcomed home, too.

Welcome home. It stuck in my mind.
We looked at the menu out of habit, but were ready to order before we even parked the car.
"One Phở and two Bún please. Also two salad rolls and a pot of green tea please."

(Don't even get me started with the salad rolls. I don't have enough time to tell you how much we love them. Especially from Toast and Pho - where they lace the rolls with fresh basil AND fresh mint leaves. Holy moley. I will tell you about these amazing things another time - for now I'll just say that they're addicting. Rachel and I dream about them at night.)

She was absolutely right. As we dug into our favorite comfort foods, we were at home... in this new restaurant.

Pam's Inbox

5:06 AM

Pam's Inbox

HOW DO THESE FOLKS SURVIVE ???

Posted: 01 Jul 2010 05:15 AM PDT

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply..
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today..'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.'
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?'
I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says,
'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Pam's Inbox

5:10 AM

Pam's Inbox

High School 1957 vs. 2010

Posted: 22 Jun 2010 08:44 AM PDT

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school..

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal who also has a headache

2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English..

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!

Pass It On Plates

5:42 AM

Pass It On Plates

1006002
1006003
1006004
1006001

1006002

Posted: 18 Jun 2010 11:14 PM PDT

This is a Pass It On Plate.

It travels from friend to friend, carrying treats and telling a story as it travels.

Click "comments" below to read a special message left for you.

When you're ready to pass the plate on to another friend, load it up with treats, leave a message for your friend in this plate diary, and pass it on again.

Keep it moving - this plate is part of our Plate It Forward™ program.

The proceeds from the sale of this Pass It On Plate support the 2010 Relay For Life Salem/Marion County Oregon.

For more information about Relay for Life, please visit www.relayforlife.org

Have fun!

1006003

Posted: 18 Jun 2010 11:15 PM PDT

This is a Pass It On Plate.

It travels from friend to friend, carrying treats and telling a story as it travels.

Click "comments" below to read a special message left for you.

When you're ready to pass the plate on to another friend, load it up with treats, leave a message for your friend in this plate diary, and pass it on again.

Keep it moving - this plate is part of our Plate It Forward™ program.

The proceeds from the sale of this Pass It On Plate support the 2010 Relay For Life Salem/Marion County Oregon.

For more information about Relay for Life, please visit www.relayforlife.org

Have fun!

1006004

Posted: 18 Jun 2010 11:16 PM PDT

This is a Pass It On Plate.

It travels from friend to friend, carrying treats and telling a story as it travels.

Click "comments" below to read a special message left for you.

When you're ready to pass the plate on to another friend, load it up with treats, leave a message for your friend in this plate diary, and pass it on again.

Keep it moving - this plate is part of our Plate It Forward™ program.

The proceeds from the sale of this Pass It On Plate support the 2010 Relay For Life Salem/Marion County Oregon.

For more information about Relay for Life, please visit www.relayforlife.org

Have fun!

1006001

Posted: 18 Jun 2010 11:16 PM PDT

This is a Pass It On Plate.

It travels from friend to friend, carrying treats and telling a story as it travels.

Click "comments" below to read a special message left for you.

When you're ready to pass the plate on to another friend, load it up with treats, leave a message for your friend in this plate diary, and pass it on again.

Keep it moving - this plate is part of our Plate It Forward™ program.

The proceeds from the sale of this Pass It On Plate support the 2010 Relay For Life Salem/Marion County Oregon.

For more information about Relay for Life, please visit www.relayforlife.org

Have fun!

Pam's Inbox

5:20 AM

Pam's Inbox

Classes for Women

Posted: 12 Jun 2010 05:39 AM PDT

Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Sat., May 29, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or B!tching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PM$ - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

5:08 AM

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

I can haz bubbl?

Posted: 12 Jun 2010 09:58 AM PDT

Ollie was doing some bird watching from inside our back porch. It was so gorgeous outside I wanted to go out on the deck and take advantage of the sun.

Of course, this scares away the birds - their feeders are really close to the house - so I grabbed some bubbles and entertained Ollie while I worked on my burn.

(I don't tan; I pink!)

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

10:46 AM

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

Back Porch

Posted: 10 Jun 2010 09:50 AM PDT

In the afternoon, the sun peeks around the side of the house and lights up the back yard and back porch.

We hung bird feeders outside the back porch windows to entertain the cats. They're both indoor cats, but Violet loves to talk to the birds when they get close to the windows. Ollie stays quiet, but is totally enchanted.

Here is Ollie, watching one of the birds take flight from the bird feeder.
Do you see the bird?

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

5:49 AM

The Adventures of Pam & Frank

I wondered why my plant was flat...

Posted: 08 Jun 2010 09:46 PM PDT

Then I discovered Ollie on top of the plant.

Snoring.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Friday, July 2, 2010

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

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